How to Help Someone with a Violent Teen

Whether you are a professional working with parents who have been assaulted by their teen or just a friend, it is important to be non-judgmental, compassionate and listen to the parent’s concerns. It is not helpful to parents when you tell them how to parent or that the abuse and violence they receive is the result of their poor parenting. Parents who have been abused by their teens often feel shame and many people blame parents for their teen’s violence. Here are some important points to remember when you talk with a parent who has been assaulted or abused by their teen:

• No one deserves to be assaulted
• Safety should always be the most important consideration
• If you are a victim of family violence, you are not at fault
• Adolescents who assault their parents are using domestic violence

Here are some ways you can help:

• Ask the parent/caretaker how you can help
• Refer them to the information on What to Do if your Teen is Violent in this website
• Try to listen without judging
• If you are concerned for their safety, let them know, and ask if there is anything you can do to help. Suggest they call 911 when their teen is violent again.
• Let them know they can call Step-Up at 206-296-7841.